Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Life After Death

LiterallyPours Asks the Witch Dr

There must be others in the same need, that can be helped by this, originally I was part of a small coven that meet twice a month and we had an online group too...the group kept getting smaller, the online group stayed open, but doesn't really do much and I have gone to the Wiccan Newsgroups with this too. My soulmate of ten yrs died, in all the other faiths there are ways of grieving, no matter where I ask no one seems to know of one from Wiccans.

While Rick wasn't Wiccan he had great respect for it and for Buddhism. I had a Memorial for him because he donated his body to Science. A Wiccan Priestess to Officiate, I had so many people tell me how beautiful the ceremony was. It is now 7 months later and I am still in so much much pain, not a day goes by without crying over him. I belong to a grief support group, but I'm the only non Christian there and it's made well known by the Priest running, also when I bring up reincarnation (Rick believed in it, too) I get snickers.

Is there a way, a spell, anything I can do to ease my pain....I never believed in soul mates until he came along, it's like someone ripped a part my body, we were so connected I knew the minute he had to go in the hospital.
There's beauty in the silver singing river, There's beauty in the sunrise in the sky, But none of these and nothing else can match the beauty, That I remember in my true love's eyes ~Bob Dylan

Dear LP

I am sorry for your loss and sorry to hear that your coven or online group is no longer there to offer you support. The first thing that comes to my mind is that perhaps you should seek out another grieving group that is not religious but more spiritual and less judgemental.

Wicca and Buddhism share some similarities in their views on death and both believe in reincarnation. In the traditional Wiccan burial prayers the High Priest lays boughs of evergreen on the casket and says: As the evergreen does grow and thrive, in summer and winter, year after year, So also does the soul continue from life to life to life... We believe that when we die, we will be greeted by the gods and taken to the Summerlands to rest and rejuvenate until it is time to be reborn. In fact, the original Hel was one of the names of the Great Mother Goddess. When one died, s/he went into the womb of Hel (the earth) to rest until it was time to be reborn. We believe that we will see our loved ones once again when it is our time to cross over and we also believe that we will meet again in other lives. This is nothing to "snicker" about but one day there will be tears of joy and laughter as we are reunited with our loved ones!

There are also 3 initial stages of mourning, 7 days, 3 months, and one year. You are still in the midst of the last phase and you will feel something shift once you reach the one year anniversary mark. As far as spells or rituals are concerned, the Samhain (Oct 31/Nov 1) is our time to honor the Dead and connect with the dearly departed. Unfortunately you are still a long ways away from celebrating that Sabbat. There are certain foods that the mourner is instructed to eat and I will list them here:
  • Eggs for they bring cleansing, renewal, and hope. Eat them on the new moon.
  • Fish must be eaten as it prolongs life and often mourners may feel they want to die in order to join the one who has passed.
  • Eggplant is sacred to the cemetery goddess. Eat it and ask for her help to come to terms with his death.
  • Zucchini is ruled by the moon and is a comfort food that puts you in touch with the principles of rebirth.
You may also want to light a white candle for Rick and speak to his spirit and ask him to move on. If you feel as though your limbs are being torn from you, that is an indication that he is still near. Too Near! It is important for the soul to ascend. If you let him go, you will feel him close to you in another way that will be soothing and even joyful. You do not have to lose the memory of him or the hope of being reunited in the next world but it would be wise to light the candle and send him to the light along with letting the dark corners of your heart be filled with that light. Remember, there is LIFE AFTER DEATH - especially for the living! That is the Wiccan Way. May the angels comfort you in your loss and may good companions journey with you through this life until you are once again joined with your beloved!

*ingredients mentioned above are from The Supermarket Sorceress,
where a more extensive Mourners Ritual can be found.

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